Nobody's Gruel

Gruel has a really bad reputation. It sounds like something that is a mixture of pig slop and horse puckey that you could use for Spackle. In literature and movies, we feel sorry for kids like the young Jane Eyre and poor little Oliver Twist because they are so starving they're willing to eat gruel but can't even get more of that horrible mess.

But thanks to my friend Susan, Super-Mommy to Thom-O and Sugar Magnolia, I have discovered that I love gruel. Gruel is nothing more than real oatmeal. "Real" meaning not the rolled oats two minutes in the microwave stuff that comes in an envelope with a ton of weird powder at the bottom. No, real oatmeal is that stuff that is teeny little bouncy, pearly, and shiny whole grain. When it is cooked properly it is chewy and nutty tasting and is a great breakfast.

I make mine on Sunday night and then microwave it all week long. It's really good enough to serve as a bread-pudding type of dessert if you add enough brown sugar - not that I would do that...very often.

We have a large gigantic ridiculously over sized slow cooker because some chick at a party once told my then-single husband that slow cookers are great as long as you don't buy a small one. So he went out looking for the largest slow cooker available. I think it is probably big enough to feed China and still have leftovers, so you might need to adjust this recipe to your cooker.

Here's a funny thing I noticed recently about buying steel-cut oats. If I buy the McCann's Steel Cut Irish Oatmeal it costs about $9 per can at Whole Foods. But if I buy the Whole Foods brand of organic steel-cut oats it is $3 per can. Why? I have no idea because I haven't opened my can of Whole Foods brand yet. Just something to ponder.

Obviously you can add any fruit that you want to this as long as it is a dried or hard fruit. Bananas would not do well in the slow cooker for 8 hours but apples do fine. Nuts are best added after cooking.


Slow Cooker Real Oats Oatmeal (Collected from trial and error)

2 cups steel-cut oats
8 cups water
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon of apple pie spice
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup chopped dried apricot
2 apples, peeled and chopped
1 cup raisins

Some slow cookers need to be sprayed with non-stick spray first. I've found that if I use enough water mine does not.

Mix all ingredients into slow cooker. Give a stir. Set on low heat and cook for 8 hours. Keep in mind that I have added one cup of water for every hour that I plan to cook the oatmeal. So if you want to let your slow cooker do its thing for more than 8 hours (i.e. you're sleeping in) add another cup of water for each extra hour.

In the morning, wake up starving because you have smelled this goodness cooking all night. Don't stop to pee or brush your teeth. Just head straight for the slow cooker and dish up some oatmeal. Add milk or cream (to thin), some banana slices and a few chopped walnuts. Eat.

Oh and be sure to drink plenty of water all day long because real oatmeal is packed with fiber. Without tons of water you might find yourself in an uncomfortable situation later.

Before.